20 Things I Wish I Knew Before Becoming a Pastor
Let’s cut the fluff and get real for a moment. Being a pastor is incredibly difficult.
The church is often guilty of only painting a picture of the wonderful blessings of being called to ministry—like it only gets better day after day.
We somehow forget to talk about the suffering involved. Did we forget, or are we afraid people won’t go into ministry if they know the truth?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there are some things we are failing to prepare new pastors for.
Here are some things I wish someone would have sat down and told 20-year-old me. I have spent the last decade learning these the hard way:
Things I Wish I Knew Before Becoming a Pastor
1. It will be the hardest thing you ever do.
No seriously, it is really, really, really hard! Imagine the most difficult thing you have done and multiply it by a hundred. That may be close to how hard ministry is.
If you want to be a pastor because it sounds fun or easy, do something else.
2. Integrity and a love for Christ will not be enough; you have to be able to lead people.
Your character and love for Christ are the requirements for entry. These are crucial and more important than anything.
However, no matter how godly you are, if you cannot lead people, you will struggle.
3. People will avoid you, and act weird simply because you are a pastor.
People will act one way when you are around, and another when you aren’t. Others will avoid you because you represent God, and they feel guilty.
This is why many pastors dread the inevitable question when meeting someone new: “So, what do you do for a living?”
4. People will expect you to be available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
You will get midnight phone calls and texts. Some will be urgent; others can wait.
You will have to set boundaries in your schedule because a pastor’s job is never finished.
5. Workaholism will be rewarded, but it will destroy your family.
Pastors who work too much get praises and raises… until their family falls apart. Then we pity them.
You will have to choose often between doing ministry and being around for your family.
6. When people stop attending your church, it will hurt.
No matter how awesome you are, some people will leave. It’s inevitable.
It may have nothing to do with you, but it always feels personal.
7. You will have to fight the urge to compare your ministry to other churches.
You always lose in the comparison game.
If you compare to a smaller church, you will feel pride. If you compare yourself to a larger church, you will feel envy.
Both are sinful.
8. Attacks from inside your church will be worse than from the outside.
You will expect some attack from the enemy outside of the church.
It’s the enemy’s attacks from within, like Judas’ betrayal of Jesus, that hurt the most.
9. You will not be discipled unless you seek it out yourself.
The people who you want to mentor you are busy. Nobody has ever seen my “great young potential” and gone out of their way to disciple me.
Every mentor I’ve ever had in my life, I had to pursue myself.
10. You will have to fight pessimism, bitterness, and even depression.
You will have seasons of doubt in God’s provision, resentment towards people in your church, and even depression.
One of the darkest years of my life was the result of a bad ministry experience.
11. Your success in the eyes of others will be measured by how many people you can get in a room.
I wish this weren’t true, but it is.
If your ministry grows, people will praise you. If it shrinks, they will blame you.
Like it or not, that’s how people think.
12. You will never be good enough.
No matter what you do, some people won’t like you. You will never be good enough to please everyone.
You will also often feel inadequate and unprepared in your own eyes.
You have to let this drive you to a greater dependence on Jesus. You are not the savior everyone needs; he is.
13. Your family will be profoundly affected either good or bad.
Like it or not, your ministry will profoundly impact your family.
Some families grow closer to the Lord together in ministry; others grow further apart.
Ministry will either make your family better or bitter. Fight bitterness.
14. Without a seminary degree, you will be considered less qualified.
I wish I would have pursued seminary earlier in my ministry—not just because of perception, but also because the education has been invaluable to me.
You can argue about whether you need it or not, but you will be judged if you don’t. And not getting proper education might hold you back.
15. Money will be a problem.
You will struggle financially—especially early on.
Most pastors are not compensated enough. You have to be ready for this going in.
Will you be OK if you can’t buy new clothes, a nice house, or get your wife and kids the things you wish you could?
16. You will likely move many times.
The average stay of a pastor at a church varies depending on their role. However, most pastors I know, including myself, have lived in multiple cities working for multiple churches over their life.
The pastor who works in only one church their entire life is admirable and rare.
17. When you have to leave a church, you will leave many friends too.
Whether you choose to leave, or the choice is made for you, you will lose more than a job; you lose a church family.
There is always a painful sense of loss when leaving a ministry. Your wife and kids will feel it too.
18. Spiritual warfare is real, and the enemy will attack you and your family in ways you never imagined.
Every pastor can tell you stories of crazy things that happen at the worst times.
If Satan cannot derail you, he will go after your family. My family always gets attacked before God does something great.
Pray often, and ask others to pray for your family too.
19. You will be discouraged, and think about quitting often.
Most pastors call these days Monday.
Even if things go well on Sunday, the enemy will use that one negative comment to bring you down if he can.
20. It will all be worth it!
There is nothing greater than the reward of a life submitted faithfully to Christ.
You will suffer. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.
Accepting God’s call to ministry is one of the best decisions I have ever made.
You will have a front-row seat to see lives changed, marriages healed, and prodigal sons return. The impact you leave will outlive your life. Generations of families will change because you were faithful and did not give up.
If this article sounds too negative, there are also many reasons I am thankful that to be a pastor.
If this article makes you upset, it should. Unfortunately, this is the reality most pastors face every day.
Can you relate? What do you wish someone told you before becoming a pastor?
I think most of these experiences may have been difficult to endure simply because you were young and lacked professional experience.
#21 You will make mistakes and hurt people, and they may not forgive you or believe that your heart toward them is good and that you honestly just made a mistake. They may hold it in and not tell you about it for years until one day they just leave and no matter how many times you apologize they are in too much pain to work through it. Being the cause of hurting someone is agony. Learning to trust that God can make it good and can restore the relationship is hard when it affects so many people. The enemy is a liar and the fight isn’t against flesh and blood, but it still hurts.
I was seeking the Lord about some things that I was experiencing as a Pastor, and came across this article. THANK YOU for sharing. I have been in leadership for eight years, and at times I get discouraged at some things that happen, or aren’t happening in our ministry. After reading this article, I HAVE A BETTER UNDERSTANDING of what Leaders in the Body of Christ go through, some things that come along with it, and better insight in what to do about them. I am invested to GOD to continue and to complete the work that He’s assigned to me. Prayers for all who have answered the call to Pastor/Shepherd God’s flock, that you won’t give up, but will continue to lean and depend on Jesus Christ, our Rock and Fortress. for those who have thrown in the towel because of what you’ve endured, trust God, again! Pick the towel up and let the enemy that you are back, with a vengeance, and that NO MATTER WHAT, you will finish the race that God has set before you. For those who are in the questioning season, SEEK GOD and TRUST THE PROCESS! Kingdom Blessings!
News letter on how to build an effective ministry
Hello and thank you for the article.
I have been Preaching /sharing Gods word to people using several different formats on the internet for approx 13yrs now.
Everything mentioned is absolutely true. I never attended a seminary. I know of a few good men of God that had not done so. I am not saying there is no benefit. I have been a member of several churches. I helped do the maintenance at almost all I have ever been an attendant at.
God calls us to “GO OUT INTO ALL HE WORLD AND PREACH THE GOSPEL”. Being willing from the first time I started sharing the gospel I have felt the desire to fulfill Gods calling for me.
I was brought up a child of 10 ( one was still born 9 lived and are still alive today ) I had been a street kid living a very picturesque past to the say the least. However I always believed in God and knew I was being watched and guided. I called out to God many times as a child, and adult and when many troubles came, Including the loss of my parents at age 21 in a house fire. I wont give all the details but from that point in life I went totally out of control. God never let me go, His hand was always upon my life.
I am not wealthy and my wife and I have lived very frugally. But never have we suffered to be homeless or without enough food or clothing.
The things mentioned above are very true but I am not unhappy with doing the work I am called to do. At 62 yrs old I feel I will always preach Gods word. The lives I have touched I have no idea the number. I have looked at times at the numbers of those that have come and visited my sites online. The numbers are very high atleast to me. God is the only one I aim to please no one else.
Now do not take that as I do not care, I care very deeply that is why I continue to do what I do. IS IT TOUGH absolutely it is But Jesus Christ suffered and died for you and I and that payment I can never repay but I will do what I do because I feel I owe that much for all that Christ has done for me.
I still use Facebook and youtube to reach souls for Christ.
Thank you for reading
Sincerely,
William Preacher Bill Barnes
Pastor’s kid here. Watched & lived all 20 with my parents in ministry. Loved #20, but all 19 freak me out & resisting the call to ministry I’ve had for over 20 years. Don’t know if I can do a lifetime of the list above on top of a traumatizing childhood witnessing the above. God help me.
GREAT WORK FOR THE LORD. PLEASE KEEP IT UP. GOD BLESS YOU REAL GOOD AND REWARD YOU ABUNDANTLY.
PST OLAOLU FROM NIGERIA
Wow! I am not a pastor but a pastors wife of 24 years, and it’s a tough gig! Although I I have taught children’s church for over a decade. We have a small church and my husband has done everything from cleaning the bathrooms to feeding the sick. The hour or so people see in the pulpit each week is a very small part of the ministry. We serve people. One of the hardest things is to hear people criticize him. They don’t see all the hours he puts in and things he does including praying for them and their families, missing family time on Saturday evenings to study and pray preparing for Sundays. So when I say the amount of love and respect I have for my husband is second only to the Lord…it’s true. Unfortunately, the whole “glass house” thing is real. Sadly, even in the very best of church’s grace can run a little thin at times. Attendance numbers can seem like a happiness gage swinging from very high to very low depending on how many people show up on Sunday. Some of the hardest things is when people leave (and lay it at your feet) when you put your heart into it, it hurts. Now days with all the glitz and glamour of mega churches the burden for pastors to make the congregation feel good each Sunday is tough, a lot of people attend for the social entertainment rather than the desire to be feed, and they feel disappointed if they don’t get the weekly “high”. However, through all the ups and downs and at times there seems to be more lows than highs, the highs always win out. When you sit and reflect on the people old or very young that you was able to lead to the Lord, or witness my husband doing it, well it makes all the hurt feelings worth it. Those people will make Heaven one day and not burn forever in eternity. My prayer is that each time someone wants to criticize their pastor they take a breath and instead pray for him his family. We need to encourage and support pastors this world is in need of them. I thank you for your candor. It is not as glamorous as people think.
PS for all the ones in above comments that worry about the money, If God called you he will provide. My husband had always had a secular job, but we know plenty of pastors that have solely been dependent on what some may see as being dependent on the ministry. Just remember GOD is your source. Be prayerful, move towards God he will make a way.
Your not doing what you do to please men, you do it to please God!!! Good luck and God bless you all! It’s worth it.
I’m here because a Pastor proposed to me months back. He’s such a good person and we hope to be married soon but I must confess I’m scared to take that step of becoming a pastor’s wife; not to talk of all the realities that awaits …I don’t know what to do and it’s eating me up right now. Our relationship got cold not because I don’t love him anymore but because I’m always in deep thoughts and wondering if I really want to do this. I’m not happy and I know he’s also unhappy because of demeanor😔
If it’s right now, it will still be right later. Take your time. Ask God if being a pastor’s wife is what He has for you.
God never promised us an easy, carefree life. On the contrary, Jesus warned us we will have troubles. In fact, the stronger our Christian witness is, the more we will be targeted by Satan and hated by the world. You need to make a choice between the world and God. Read Matthew 10:38. Love for God and love for your husband require sacrifices in this world, but have eternal rewards.
My dear sister. I hope that you have taken time to speak with a Christian counselor who can help you with your insecurities and questions. Being married to a Leader isn’t an easy position to be in, but if it’s GOD’s will, then submit to it and take your fears and replace them with the faith of God. What you don’t want to do, is marry this amazing man and be a thorn in his side. I commend you for your honesty and transparency, and either way, I pray God’s best for the both of you. Kingdom blessings!
This is so accurate!!
We are navigating a difficult situation right now. Ive been needing a break for a long time. We haven’t taken vacation in years and frankly can’t afford to get away for any length of time and get a real rest. We also have main leader is hurting and going through a difficult time and we are giving her time off of her responsibilities but that increases mine and means that our family doesn’t get a break. I’m happy to do this, but in my tiredness, I opened my mouth and said something that came out totally wrong and hurt this person. I immediately retracted it and explained what o meant. But They now don’t trust us and have decided to take time off from church completely as they don’t feel coming to church with us on Sunday is a place of safety and healing. No matter how many times I explain, I can’t take it back. It is agony. We now have no worship leader and are trying to figure out what to do. She needed a break anyway and we were giving her time but this just added to it. We make mistakes and the pain and regret is real. I just shattered that glass house. If it was anyone else, it wouldn’t have mattered but because I’m a pastor, it’s “I can’t sit under your leadership anymore”. I just pray that she can see my heart and that I honestly just worded it in a bad way and never meant it to hurt her. I pray she finds healing and rest and the Lord will use this to strengthen our relationship. I know I’m learning from this but the heartache and the guilt is overwhelming right now. I’m running to the Lord, and leaving it in His hands. But not having anyone I can go to to talk it out and cry and pray with is hard sometimes. Trying not to fear losing her and leave her in the Lords hands. He’s so good! He is so able.
Anyways, I guess I share because I need to know I’m not the only one and to hear how testimonies from other pastors who God has used situations like this to being restoration and healing. I need encouragement!
Am so happy seen this, I love it and my faith come alive again am about to start what God have ask me to do since 2015 please brethren put me in your prayer pastor prevail chidera
You can do this through God
Am so happy seen this, I love it and my faith came alive again am about to start what God have ask me to do since 2015 please brethren put me in your prayer pastor prevail chidera
read your article and absolutely scared out of my wits. currently leading a church with two other men in a leadership position, and to be ordained as an elders. your list seems almost in surmountable. i love the Word, but not sure if im called and if ill be ale to handle the burden. thanx for the article, real eye opener.
Anon
So very true, except #20, I just haven’t seen it in my experience-glad I’m getting out soon.
I’ve preached for 14 years and have struggled with number 2 on this list. I love my Savior Jesus Christ with all my heart, but I’m simply not a strong leader except I hope to my wife and children. I understand your struggles with fulfillment. I hope God shows you down the line some blessed result of your work for Him. God bless!
I am currently a senior in HS and I felt a strong call to become a pastor but, I am now questioning not only that calling but also how to go about it. Do I get my bachelors in an area that would aid me in seminary or do I get my BA in Pastoral Leadership? Any advice on this?
Do seminary and get experience in ministry. Then pursue your bachelor’s if you want. This is coming from someone with a four year degree. Get the experience and if you can seminary or a school of ministry you will learn more and be better prepared.
Most people won’t expect you to have all the theological answers, knowledge is less necessary than experience. Seek experience and the wisdom with more of it than you.
You can always get a bachelors later on.
If you can get a practical degree in business or accounting, I would start their. Try getting a minor in bible if your school offers that. This practical knowledge will in handy in ministry. Plus number 15 is very real.
Sara, are you a woman? Women are not called to be pastors and those who do so are rebelling against God’s will. (1 Timothy 2:12, 1 Corinthians 14:32-35, 1 Timothy 3:1-7). However, God can and does use women in many other wonderful ways, sometimes in ways He cannot use men. Seek God’s will with your talents through the filter of the scriptures.
Do not let anyone tell you that you cannot be a Pastor. Coming from someone whose mother was a Pastor for many years. Peoples lives were changed for the better. God can use anything. If God can have a donkey speak, if God used Debra as a Judge, then he can use anyone. Another option could be that God can use you in an online ministry(youtube). This is a great way to reach people. Also find you a mentor to give you guidance in certain areas. Most importantly, prayer for the journey.
Great thank you.i love your reply
Get a bachelors in something that can help you get a job doing SOMETHING ELSE! Then go to seminary and be able to still make a living if the church destroys you. I wish very much that I had done this. Instead, I have no marketable skills doing anything else. I’m in the church and if I can’t hack it for the next twenty years I’m homeless.
Hi Greene!
I hope you actually come back to read this, but you have skills! The most valuable person is someone who can solve problems! You are able indeed able do that! You are able.to deal with conflict, teach, lead meetings, assist with long term plans, budget – most likely, you can train, and I am sure there are things that you can do things that can help in most any field, just need to think out the box! Or maybe start your own thing or business.
You dont need a degree,you need the Holy Spirit.Im a sinner,God speak through preachers who are Dpirit filled,not graduates.Please pray and find out whether you are Called or just looking for a job.
Hey Sarah!
I’m an MDiv student in my final year at seminary, and I got my bachelor’s in Psychology. Having a bachelor’s degree was required for my seminary.
In my experience, having a degree that is useful outside of ministry can be very helpful in seminary (and has been very helpful in the internship experiences I’ve had doing ministry). My degree allowed me to provide interesting and helpful perspectives in classes, and allowed me to experience adult life as a Christian outside of leadership in ministry! I’ve found that last part so helpful as I continue to discern my call to ministry.
Also, having a degree in a field outside of ministry provides a back-up in case you need a second job in the future; many folks in ministry end up being bi-vocational.
Stay faithful to the call of God on your heart, and stay open to the leading of the Holy Spirit! Whatever you choose, Jesus will be with you.
Greetings Sara! I believe the first question that you seriously need to ask yourself and God is “Did GOD call me to the Office of Pastor?” Knowing this answer, without a shadow of doubt, will lead you to your next step. If He has, then continue to seek Him for what and how HE wants you to proceed. Maybe you need to seek counseling and direction from some people whom you trust that will tell you the TRUTH and guide you in the way that you should go. Kingdom Blessings!
Hello am a young man aged 22 and I have been in ministry for a year now and its really challenging ..all the 20 things you higlited are very accurate and I just want God to help me in ministry because am currently going through a lot of challenges and I always feel like quitting . I pray an hope that God will help me
You practically nailed it. This are points and facts that we see all through our adventure in God’s vineyeard.
Thank you so much for this impactful and awesome write up. God bless you sir.
I have discovered your website not long ago through this article. It has been a relief to realize that I’m not alone. I would not have changed career even if I had known these 20 points when I started in the ministry 14 years ago but it encourages me to identify these issues and find solutions for them. Thank you, brother!
I have been ask what is the primary and seculary role of a pastor and in search for answers I found this and it helps me to take my role in consideration,if you can give me answers on those roles it would be highly appreciated.
Thank you very much. For village pastor like me,will of immense use.
I have the call of God on my life. I first saw it when I was a teenager. Afterwards, I have seen this call several times in my dreams. Others have also told me about it. I belong to a particular church which has three major branches in the country of my residence. However, this particular church has always had only one pastor steering the affairs of all the branches, but with the help of elders. To date, we’ve had two pastors who had come and gone. Before the first pastor left, having been pastoring in the church for ten years, there were several dreams and revelations indicating that I would be his successor but it didn’t happen. The next pastor came and served for six years, and prior to his transfer to another country, the same dreams started showing up again and this time many of our members and I were convinced that I would be the next pastor, and again it didn’t happen as we had dreamt. Another pastor is been posted here to lead the church. I’m already forty seven years old, and this dream had not yet occurred. I have a passion for Christ and His work, and would love to be a pastor. What should I do? Any advice?
That’s a good question. Without knowing too much of your situation, I would ask: Have you made your desire known to those who are making the decisions to appoint the pastors? What are the qualifications that they are looking for in a pastor and do you meet them? Is there any education, training, apprenticeship, or certification that you are lacking and can begin to pursue? Is it possible that you are called to pastor, but maybe not that particular church?
Just a few things to consider. Hope that helps.
I am now 52 years old. Been to Bible College some years back. I have had several people confirm the calling on my life. I still keep believing and trusting in our Lord!
Kyle,
I just started as a full time pastor at 56 years old. I did bivocational minisrty for almost 10 years. God called me to full time ministry and I plan on doing it for the rest of my life if He wills.
The fulfillment comes from loving the Lord with all your heart and leading His people. You are the shepherd of His flock. The last thing Jesus told Peter to do was to feed His sheep.
Answer God’s call on your life, nothing else can bring the fulfillment that obedience to God’s call brings.
Watch Robert Clancy-Prayer for God’s Perfect Will.
Am happy to read this today. I have this 100 percent conviction that am a pastor. More than 30 prophecy from different man of God has come fort that am a pastor . Even mad man called me a pastor one beautiful morning day. But I do have this thought or fear (what will I eat or who will pay my house rent) if I take up the call. And over 15years now, am not leading any church as a pastor. Please everyone,doest it mean it is not yet my time or what should I do.? I really want to move for God and I love things related to revival.
I don’t know enough about your situation, Mayowa, to give you a great answer. However, I would say that just because you aren’t getting paid yet, doesn’t mean that you can’t pastor people and lead them to Jesus. Not all pastors make a living following God’s call. Many, like Paul making tents, find other ways to support their ministry. Don’t get discouraged. Following God is never easy, but it’s always worth it.
My advice to you is go for it …if God calls you should just obey ..it will be the best decision you ever made and God will guide every step of the journey …
Am happy to read this today. I have this 100 percent conviction that am a pastor. More than 30 prophecy from different has come fort that am a pastor and I do have this thought (what will I eat or who will pay my house rent) if I take up the call. And over 15years now, am not leading any church as a pastor. Please everyone,doest it mean it is not yet my time or what should I do.?
Most of the times we wait for God to move…. but the truth is he us waiting for us to move…
Amen. Very true.
I relate!
God called me to be a pastor to pastors 31 years ago. I started mentoring/coaching pastors 21 years ago. With the help of a friend I started a ministry in January named EdifyLeaders. We coach/mentor pastors for free. NO CHARGE to the pastor nor to the pastors church. No catches! Some donors who love pastors fund the coaching. We use a Biblical model we have named the 3-J Model,
A friend like Jonathan, a coach like Jethro and a relationship with Jesus.
Call me at 405.413.8222 or
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Great.please I need help how do I get prepared for pastoring
I am a Pastor’s son. I’ve been in ministry (worship Pastor’s role) since I was 20, and now I am 44. Left my dad’s church years ago to take a worship pastor position 1200 miles away.
Fast forward to today…my dad will be retiring and has approached me about serving in the lead pastoral role to succeed him.
Yes, I am a firm believer that we should make sure that the things we do are in total alignment with what God has for us. We should listen to the sound of his voice to guide us through our life’s traffic patterns. All of these 20 points are EXACTLY what our family experienced growing up, and what I’ve also experienced as A worship pastor over the past 24 years.
All 20 things you listed are right on point! These are what I call “tools for helping to build up the kingdom”.
Thank you for sharing!!
Please pray for me as I wait on God for wisdom and direction.
Wow it’s not going to be easy but I love #20 it’s all worth it. Seeing life changed, broken homes healed, prodigal son return home, that is my motivation thank you sir.
amen
Its really hard job you need to interseed in prayer be you conclude to login this calling,unless you accepted by GOD himself
I found this a helpful article with lots that is necessary to take heed of. However, the first point, ‘Imagine the most difficult thing you have done and multiply it by a hundred’, is far too sweeping to be helpful. I don’t doubt that being a pastor is extremely hard, but plenty of people, sometimes even younger people about to go into ministry, have experienced things that are already almost unbearable. Such things cannot be multiplied by 100! Such things should not be belittled by being compared in such a way. Thanks for writing.
Says the guy who’s never pastored. It’s Christians like you sir that help to make the pastorate borderline unbearable. I’m writing this reply while sitting in a hospital waiting for my 2 year old daughter to recover from surgery. My dad was a pastor and the devil broke our home up with an affair when I was 14. I almost bled to death at 19. Got married and lived in poverty for a few years. Dealt with some self inflicted legal matters. I buried my father 6 years ago. I’ve dealt with chronic pain from health issues for over 10 years. But, I took over as pastor of a small church a year ago and can honestly say none of that other stuff comes close to the stress, burden, and difficulty of pastoring.
Anonymous, I am reading this article because I am feeling like Satan is trying to derail me. I am sorry you have suffered so much. It is sometimes good to know I am not imagining it. I hope you have a praise report since 2017 and if not I will pray for you.
To further answer your response is of no importance whatsoever as you have become the judge of who can use for which Office of Christ and you are so “knowledgeable” BUT I realised that this forum is not the place for such venom! Our words are to build up not tear down or raise what displeased Christ. Be careful!
You and I will one day stand before the Judgement Seat to account for what we did on earth. Kindly make sure you fulfil God’s Purpose. I love you with the love of Christ and pray that Christ be formed in us all..
Thanks Brandon, these are right on target. I’d like to share a few responses. #8 hit home as I was not prepared for the depth of meanness, hatred, and animosity I encountered in the church. We must be sure of our calling to handle the frequent attacks that accompany ministry. Many of us, probably most of us, carry deep wounds and scars from the merciless assaults of church members who go out of their way to make our lives difficult when we don’t do things their way.
Also, I have been blessed through 30 years of ministry to have great mentors in my life. I’d tell any young person contemplating a call to ministry to have these relationships with older, mature pastors who we can talk with and learn from. These relationships have proven invaluable during times when I was going through a storm, which happens often in ministry.
Finally, I wish someone had told me 30 years ago about the viable option of bi-vocational ministry. Last summer, I stepped out of full-time pastorate and re-entered the secular workforce. At 54, this was a huge faith step. However, the Lord has continually opened doors of ministry in assisting churches without pastors. I am presently interim of a church that had been through some challenging times and never have I felt more refreshed in my calling and purpose.
Thanks for letting me share and God bless you.
Thanks for your post. I enjoy working outside the church and in the marketplace. People have tried to push me into full time ministry, yet I don’t want to. I am exhausted dealing with people quarter time or part time. My father is a pastor and I see how our family was impacted by his calling. No matter the time of day or night, people felt they could just connect with my dad. My mom just desired a husband who could spend quality time with us, yet he was often in ministry mode. When she died, she was happy to go to heaven. She wanted rest. My dad is a good man, yet in ministry mode 24/7. Pastors and their families suffer. Church people can be excessively mean and hateful. They can be so needy and not respect boundaries. And as stated in this post, you will be applauded for having no balance and working yourself to death. Last winter I visited my father and basically begged him not to do ministry for one day so we could spend quality time together. Yes, it is noble to serve, yet if you suffer and your family, is that God’s will? I don’t think so. I think people are too dependent on their pastors and pastors have way to much pressure to perform and be Jesus instead of point to Jesus.
you make some really good points. i knew a pastor of a large church and he taught some of his members how to minister so that he could set healthy boundaries and balance time with his family.
Thank you for number nine. I am not a pastor but desperately need to be discipled. To work through some difficult circumstances in my life. I keep thinking someone will just show up and help me. I realized i have to find someone myself. Looking for someone online does not count. ☺ Thank you!
I’ve been in the ministry for 41 years and testify that all of this is true, especially number 20. No one has ever hurt me like the church and no one has ever blessed me like the church. We have established a 3 year pastoral mentorship for guys coming out of seminary and it is designed to help men discover how to cope with these issues. My prayer is that other churches will do the same.
Very encouraging and on point, I have been into pastoral for 9yrs and it’s by the grace of God.
My parents never regretted the ministry because they knew they were called, him to preach, her to pray. I never wished otherwise. When my dad accepted the call to his 1st church, he told them that his family was not for them to be critical of but to pray for. It was an inner-city church (wasn’t called that in those days) so they were glad to have a large family to come & work in the church.
Been a pastors wife for almost 3 decades…always feel the most important question to answer in ministry is if Jesus is all you have…can he be everything you need? He has to be it for you in ministry because even in the most productive and fruitful ministries “desert moments” will come and you won’t survive them without answering this basic question well.
Thank you and God bless.
One of the most insightful facts from Scripture that I have learned over the years, is the Biblical reality of plurality of elders. No man, no matter who he is, no matter how many degrees he has or no matter how eloquent of a speaker he may be, can be the chief preacher, teacher, counselor or administrator in a local church. To attempt to do so will bring havoc on one’s family, ministry and life. God has gifted a plurality of men to carry out ministry in the local church. We have different gifts and abilities from the Lord. Stop attempting to do it all. e.g. Acts 20:17-28; Titus 1:4-9; 1 Peter 5:1-5.
With respect even if I do your mind is made up. Also you are like those who question the validity of Paul’s apostleship and his answer is what I will give you again with respect. I am NOT a pastor to you but to those am sent I am THEIR pastor and thank God for that!
Sadly while people like you still argue whether woman should pastor or not the fruits of the Holy Spirit and grace is evidently seen through both women preachers and the flock given by the Lord to them to shepherd.
The way you have answered showed you have issue with women and I pray you meet The Christ of the Church who sent both men and women to do His bidding…
“Again leave her alone” If you ever have a daughter that will be used by God in any capacity including pastoring God have mercy on you if you try to stop her. To do so is to see the Lord Himself. Brother in Him is no male or female…. Renew your thinking and stop using the scripture to sooth your argument. That’s the same way white slave masters used the bible to justify their slavery till deliverance came and now we have SOME MALE MEN in the church violating the word of God again. Repent Repent Repent before the door of grace is shut..,
To speak against Foursquare founder like you did require repentance. If God ever use you in such capacity, you would’ve flooded the bookstores with many books on the latest move of God! What God pioneered through Aimee Semple McPherson has grown to thousands of churches all over the world… I know her name and I never met her SIR who knows your name? Repent and ENOUGH WORDS FOR THE WISE… Remember don’t start what you will never finish… Agape
In my experience , the only sweet part of ministry is to be formally notified of your calling because at least you now know your purpose in this world but afterwards it is full of dramas . ( The Cross ) and sometimes it is very heavy to carry. Goodluck and dont stop praying till the end.
So much error in your response, where to begin. First, I don’t question Paul’s apostleship. Second, yes your not my pastor, but your not a pastor to anyone, a woman cannot be an Elder, I have already mentioned several passages that you are not willing to address, but then again you state “stop using scripture to sooth your argument”, this shows me and everyone else here how low you very scripture. I don’t have issues with women, this is about scripture (that you avoid and obviously loathe) and your function or role as a woman, you obviously hate God because what God has decreed, you feel the need to disobey. I do have a daughter and a wife, and they know their God given roles, they are NOT perverted with all the lies of your liberal theology. And by the way, if you read the Bible, the renewing of the mind is done by reading the Bible. In regards to Aimee Semple McPherson, do your research on her, have you ever picked up a history book? The woman was full of scandal, lies and desired to be a cult of personality, like I had previously stated the Corinth church with all its “showy gifts”, perhaps that is why you stated “who knows your name?” I am not interested in who knows my name, obviously this is what makes someone “qualified”. I don’t doubt your love for Christ, but you are a misguided woman who really needs to learn much.
The tos and fro in the ministry ,Moses is the great example but don’t for get the promises is given by “if” and ” then” principle in the Bible. Romans 8:28 Godbless you!
Great article and great conclusion. Pastoral ministry is a privilege even when it’s hard. Thanks for for sharing your thoughts!
Even with all twenty of the statements, which all are true, I still enjoy doing what I’ve been called. God is faithful to us when we are faithful to Him.
Amen to that. I couldn’t agree more.
People will tell you women are not permitted to be pastors, even though it was three women who were the first ones commissioned to share the good news, by the angel in the empty tomb, “Go and tell his disciples, ‘He is not here, he is risen…’.”
God’s choosing to have the women closest to him be the first to share the news of his resurrection in no way negates his charge that pastors of his church be men. There is no scripture that even alludes to women leading the church body. None.
I’m not a pastor, and this makes me sad for them, makes me want to pray more for them, and makes me appreciate them. I do, however try to share my faith in Jesus Christ every chance I get. If we just invite the lost people into our churches and don’t take the time to intentionally and specifically share the gospel message with them from the very start and then disciple them with the whole Truth of the Bible, we end up with a church full of just a few sheep and a lot of goats. And goats make a messy church.
This article is super and right on target. Every point that you mentioned, pastors I know of have faced one time or another,and I have faced a number of them as well. This article should be the basis for a course to be taught in every seminary and bible college. In fact, it would be good to have this article taught in depth in seminars for pastors across this country. Thanks a million.
Oh by the way,I can tell you first hand how true point nine is.
This is a great read. Resonates with me & so many other young pastors… This is real, but it will be worth it. Thank you for sharing! Bless you richly!
I’ve been doing it for 28 years and you definitely nailed it. My only additions would be that a staff member will betray you if you stay in it long enough. Every long-term pastor I know has a story. It’s extremely difficult to endure. The other is that you will worry about the offering but you won’t say anything because you don’t want people to think you’re all about the money. Great article!
Ben, thank you for your 28 years of faithful service! Unfortunatley, I think you are on point about the staff member betrayal, and I don’t know a pastor that hasn’t worried about the offering. Thanks for adding to the conversation.
Thanks for an honest, well-done article. I serve in a non-traditional pastoral role (with students primarily), but resonated with so many of these. Because so much of ministry is more than just what you learn in seminary, I think there’s a real place for some sort of course on this there. Something where seasoned pastors and ministry leaders can share information from their journeys, but then follow-up with smaller groups of students and even offer one-on-one follow-ups that cover some of this.
I suppose that, like getting married and having kids, you follow your calling and just have to experience it, but some informed preparation might be helpful.
Bryan, I wish there was a course on this in seminary. However, if there was, unfortunately, I probably have been too nieve and arrogant to believe I would ever struggle with these things. I like what your analogy to marriage and kids. I had to learn the hard way, but I could have been more prepared.
Thank you so much. I am a pastor and I have gone through these things and reading your article encouraged me please keep doing more of these. Blessings from Nairobi Kenya.
Great article! Consider adding “she” and “her” to the language as many Pastors/Preachers are women. Nevertheless, good read. Thank you.
I do not permit a woman to have authority over men, In 1 Timothy 3:1-7, the word “he” for the role of overseer is used about 9 times, “he is to be a husband of one wife” . Corinthians, women are to remain silent. Any woman who claims God has called them to an overseer or elder position is blaspheme. Sorry but, I don’t buy into the liberal 60’s baby boomer garbage and lies that have perverted the church. But, then again expectations are pretty low if it is a pagan Arminian group.
I love you sir but you are NOT the One who do the calling and sending… There was a time that a woman wasn’t to vote, now they are voting. A woman is a pilot, a woman in my African culture is head of the shrine as priestess and her words are honoured by the King as she’s the spiritual authority for the community. Even in Israel a woman was appointed by God to lead Israel in a male dominating office as a Judge and a Prophetess. One of the finest leader of 20th century Israel Golder Meir is still honoured at Bengurion Airport today, when we fly across nations NO one ever asked if the pilot is a woman so “I will not enter the plane” No one says the Surgeon is a woman “I will rather die” only in the Body of Christ we read and see how saints used Paul Apostle’s statement has been used many times to keep God’s gift out. Founder of Foursquare was a woman. Great church planters are women who pastor these churches for a season and some are still pastoring them around the world.
I thank God for men of God who recognised and still recognising that ONLY CHRIST is Supreme over tradition and culture NOT even apostle PAUL and in His Supremacy can send whosoever He ordained to serve His Purpose…
I am grateful to be chosen as a woman for 27years in ministry of Jesus and Pastoring 21years…. I have encountered every points raised by our brother and have seen the grace of God in operation.
Sir like Jesus said about Mary ” Leave that woman alone”
My previous point has been proven by your response. Very low expectations. A church that has a woman pastor does NOT have a shepherd. The rant over surgeons, pilots, voting, etc., has NOTHING to do with holding a position as Elder in a local church, not really sure why it was even mentioned, probably not really “thinking” things out in a Biblical manner. In regards to Deborah, Israel was being rebellious, Israel was under God’s condemnation, Israel’s condemnation also included having a woman placed in a role of headship. Foursquare in any SERIOUS theological circles could be considered a group lead by uneducated Biblically ignorant people who place more emphasis on “showy gifts”, a Corinthian establishment for the 20th and 21st century. If you are truly a pastor, you deal with the Bible, not with what the world and culture are doing, So, pastor, how do you treat the BIBLE scriptures of 1 Timothy 3:2, Titus 1:6 and 1 Corinthians 14:34? If you cannot explain these texts, you are NOT a pastor, at best a motivational speaker. A pastor works ONLY from the Bible, please explain what these BIBLE verses say.
Yikes!! Such deep misogyny. Your fear of women is palpable. I am glad I do not know you as your negative energy would be oppressive.
Thanks for the one about education as a high school graduate and called later in life I feel that pressure in my church. But there are ways to improve my knowledge and I try to use them. Thanks for the article
You forgot to mention bureaucrats in the denominational structure who will add unreasonable demands to your workload, expect impossible results from your ministry, and try to tell you how to do ministry when their own brief experience in pastoral ministry ended decades previously and they haven’t a clue about today’s pastoral challenges.
Right on target with everything you said. I am glad I am not in one of those denominations.
I knew what I was getting into and still wanted to serve. Ministry can be messy and can suck, but ministry is still worth it.
Amen!
Wow
I share the same thoughts as you do. If I only had someone to pull me to the side an explain somethings to me. Apostle you don’t know who you are mentoring even those who disagree with you they are still being mentoring. From the movie Drumline the director stated “it’s show time” keep showing, teaching ,preaching and pastoring. You are blessed
Thank you and God bless.
This is why I wrote my book Ordination-A licence to die before you live..
Your points are real and I pray those just starting and those of us that are already pastoring will not give up…The gain is surely more than the pain.
Thank you pastor for this lovely and encouraging article, permit to add this….
There are principles and values we must tenaciously uphold and what should be expected of us as we make journey to establishing of this kingdom. This principles and values are to properly represent God well through our lives and avoid anything that will stain and taint the gospel of the kingdom we herald. We are privileged to be His representative. Even when we are perplex and troubled on every side, persecuted and made to face most severe challenges of different sorts. One thing is certain they are working out the beauty of God within us and serves also as a testimony for us. While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. The things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are everlasting. Our main goal should be forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forth unto those things which are before which is pressing toward the pathways and route leading to fulfilling the desire of our heavenly Father on Earth.
This teaching is indeed really impactful.Every called and ordained servant of God,most especially at the initial stage of the ministry or answering the call,has one challenge or the other he/she faces.Pastors have to depend on God,for everything.May God’s great grace be made available for every minister of the Gospel in Jesus name.FOR WE ARE MORE THAN CONQUEROR! AS A CALLED VESSEL,BE REST ASSURED THAT,HE WILL PROVIDE FOR YOU AND TAKE CARE OF EVRYTHING THAT CONCERNS YOU.PRAISE GOD.AMEN.THANKS SIR,FOR THIS ARTICLE.
you noted most especially at the initial stage of ministry; that is where i stand and would like to learn more about how to get through those times and not feeling alone
#18 is real. After 25 years of marriage, when my husband became pastor the devil got busy. Destroyed my family when my husband impregnated the youth evangelist (35 years younger than he) at the church. Now they are together, Going through HELL.
I am so sorry, and saddened to hear that. Thank you for sharing your story. I cannot imagine how you must feel. Praying for you.
Your husband apparently wasn’t called into the ministry. So sorry to hear of your troubles. May God be with you in power, love, and peace.
That’s so sad to hear! It’s a tragic and common tale. Problem partly lies in accoutabilty even David fell massively into sin. I’ve experience many ministers that have done similar rotten things and even called them out on it and got the boot too. No one is immune to sin. But when leadership takes no interest in listening to others or their ego is inflated by a perceived success lives are destroyed. I’m truly sorry for you. I pray the Lord will heal your broken heart. Thank you for being open and honest about your pain.
It said I have comment on this before but I haven’t.
Jesus never said it would be easy. I think if you were called to be a pastor or a preacher you know that you have to die to yourself daily.,that’s what Christian do. It is not a 9 -5 job no matter what and if you have a family that is what understood doesn’t need any explanation. Jesus took on our sins so we could have life because what we see is only temporary anyway.
Absolutely, just look at the hardship that Paul and all the other Apostles faced. I don’t think any of them had it easy either. However, just because we are called to sacrifice our lives for ministry, doesn’t mean we should sacrifice our family and neglect our responsibility to minister to them either.
Absolutely relevant. It’s good to get encouragement from those ahead of you in this pastoral journey. I connect very well with number 9 “You will not be discipled unless you seek it out yourself”
Thank you
Thanks Daniel. Glad you find this helpful.
This is helpful. I’ve been pastoring for three years and it seems the third year is the worse. I’ve been experiencing all of the above and have felt guilty for it. I know God has called me so the work continues!
Thank u
I almost feel guilty. My first church was very hard,but my current church is absolutely wonderful. The demands are ruff at times but seeing lives changed is amazing.
That’s awesome! Don’t feel guilty. Seeing a lives changed makes it all worth it
Thanks
All true and helpful. And remember – you have Almighty God as your source for wisdom, strength, counsel, guidance, and help in all situations. Also – Keep family in your heart, thoughts and prayers consistently.
Absolutely! This list should only cause us to depend more upon God for our source everything. Excellent point.
I’m blessed by your words. As someone who is approaching such a stage. Thank you. #14 has helped my ministry is ways immeasurable.
In*
Thanks VC. Seminary is tough, but the education is invaluable. God bless you and your future minsitry.
Hi Brandon Hilgemann, I have a graduate degree from United Theological seminary in Dayton Ohio. Preacher it is one of the best investment, that I could have made in my ministry. I’m praying for you, hang in their preacher. Bless you
Thanks Calvin. It is definitely an investment, but well worth it like you said
The loneliness you and your spouse experience
Wow, that is so true. Even when I have been surrounded by thousands of people in a congregation, the moment you leave the relationships are all gone or left on Facebook. Plus, there are times when in ministry, it can be lonely because you are the leader and some people have a relationship with you because you are their pastor, but it’s not true friendship.
AMEN Pastor………&…”A-AAAAAAAAMEN…for the Entire article !!!
So true Pastor. The challenging part for my spouse and I is finding pastoral couples to connect with who are likeminded. We have many associates who are part of the “circle” but very few who are willing to “take off the mask”. Thank you for you input and transparency. You’re an asset to the kingdom!
Thank you! This is a great help. Very encouraging!
Thanks a million Pastor…Stay blessed!
Your welcome
Thanks a million Pastor….
A couple of other things that may enhance your points that I have really struggled with include:
1. You will need to learn what motivates people. Each person is different. Some motivated by family loyalty, some by leaving a legacy, some by love for Christ, some by avoiding pain, some by fame, some by money, etc.
2. You will need to be a conflict resolution specialist. With people there will always be conflict. Peoples will have personality clashes. People will get offended. People will misunderstand. You will need Gods help to navigate through these conflicts.
Thanks for adding to the conversation William. Those are some great points! Amen, especially to number 2.
Very real points. Been a Pastor since 1982.
David, thank you for your faithful service. That is amazing. Praying I can have such a faithful life of ministry.
Wow thank you
My pleasure.
Wow this was very powerful, affirming and quite triue!
Thanks J.A. it is good to know that other pastors have felt these things too.
Great encouragement; I am an elder candidate and really identify with this.
Thanks P.B. glad you find this encouraging.